Rising Tides

If rising tides lift all boats,

Pick a boat that is sturdy,

For you both will navigate water clear and murky,

Settle in and enjoy the ride,

Explore the world and share your life,

What comes at you is always going to be for better or for worse,

But that has no bearing when you stay the course,

Be headstrong and love without force,

She'll stay with you as long as she has a choice,

She'll support you through thick and thin, 

Because all she wants to do is to see you win.

Stubborn Bull

It takes a strong person to be left hanging

Drying in the wind and finding

That where I am is much higher

But it's harder to be left standing

The ground seems so far away

But I don't seem to mind

My soul is finally flying

Because I grew those wings to fly

I had the hardest time in life

So much grief left me blind

But this view I have now

Leaves the pain out of sight

Think what you will

See what you see

You'll never know what it's like to be me

I've forgiven my sins

Let go of my guilt

Admired what I've built

Maybe I can appreciate my life for what it is

A stubborn bull I took by it's horns

Never Done

The thing about faith is that when you've lost it, you learn the ability to regain it.
The process is sometimes long and painful.

You'll move two steps forward knowing you'll lose half your momentum.

Sometimes the weight of all your burdens won't let you move.

You'll feel your knees buckle, so you learn to crawl.

There are days when you wonder why you want to live to see another day.

Then you remember all the love behind you and how they've helped push you every step of the way.

You start thinking you can't let their efforts go in vain and you find the strength to move on.

As much as you think you are doing this alone, you're not and you're never done.

Never done honoring your dreams and wishes.

Never done honoring what makes your heart beat.

Never done honoring what makes your feet dance.

Never done honoring what your hands write for your bright future.

Never done living the best life you can possibly live.

_____________________________________

I wrote this yesterday before my Artist's Way group meeting. I finished listening to the book on Audible and I actually shed a tear. It has been a remarkable 12 week ride getting to know my art again, staying the course with my new artistic endeavors, and challenging myself to let go of the bad habits I picked up when I was lost.

It truly did feel like I was a Phoenix, rising from the ashes of my own destruction. I've seen a lot people self-destruct in more obvious ways, whether it's alcohol, drug, or gambling addictions, and in a way I was no different for a few years. I was consistently telling myself that my dreams were over and I was going to be happy settling into a "normal life."

Boy I tried and it felt like I was worse off then I was before. It goes to show that denial pushes you back farther from your truth and you'll have to make up ground. Yes, I may have been lost, pushed back, beaten up, and in the dark for years, but somehow I got through. 

Reading the Artist's Way was a great reminder to know that I'm stronger than I think I am, I can see clearly when I want to, and I have the ambition to get what I want in life, once I decide what exactly it is.

Waves in Fall

 Some of us fall

and get up with bruises and scrapes

Some of us fall

and get lost within the depths of the waves

Deeper and deeper we get pulled under 

At first, fighting against the pressure

Until we're out of breath and air is replaced

Some of us fall

and let the waves pull us down

Some of us fall

and hope that we'll wash with sleep forever

Never to wake to wonder

Not even trying to open our eyes

To the nightmare that has become our lives

Some of us fall

and get right back up again

Some of us fall

and pretend

Why I Stay

I do love you New York City

As much as I hate things about you

The restless nights have taught me to fight through endless days

Some filled with countless tears due to consistent pain

Some are like the weather when the news says there's no chance of rain

If you've spent years here you come to expect nothing but to awaken to a brand new day

With all the heartache this city provides

There are still apparent reasons to stay

I love how it comes alive in a very distinct way

Different from London, Paris, Brussels or even LA

The beat of the city thumps to bring us together with a special kind of vibe

Once it clicks for us, it's like a parasite that's tough to separate and divide

There is a certain understanding between us and you know the work you've done has to pay off

You'll start to feel the city love you back, start to feel the momentum you've built and the rewards will never stop.

Searching From Within

If we were lost when the world was ending
I'd spend my days searching for you
My heart would beat to find yours
I'd use it as a guide
I would know where to go

I'd try to find the fastest way
By all means necessary
I'd even walk on my tired feet for days
I wouldn't give up easily
I'd search until I saw your face

It wouldn't matter where we were
Our hearts and minds would know
The connection between us will be unbroken
Our will is as strong as our love
We know ourselves from within

And I know that we'd find each other within reasonable means
We would find each other without suffering

Sink or Swim

The difference between us
was the distance apart
love was strong for you
but I questioned my heart

I made the decision to live in another city
and you let me go freely
your heart was anchored
it was safe at home

Mine battled through
I was left beaten and alone
in the trenches bruised and scarred
crawling in solitude in the dark

I wasn't sure what I was working towards
my life seemed like it wasn't my own
it felt like I was treading water
Just floating
I didn't know what I was living for

You didn't know how I became more guarded
I didn't see what you could offer
Being alone was becoming more normal to me

You threw me a life raft
But I couldn't see
I didn't know where to swim
after floating free

Do I grab on to something that I used to know?

Or swim a different direction to the great unknown?