Thursday, August 22, 2013

Almost Like a Wedding Day

You said I could always make it rain
So when you left Tucson
I was jogging the Hudson
And so it came

To bless this day
While I wait

3 months have gone
Since I have seen your face
But my love grows strong
Even in silence you cannot sedate
The life we live together
Though were apart and far away
Our lives still intersect
We live this life because it's fate

The rain came down on me
But all I could think about was our wedding day

All the emotions rushing in all at once
All of it I wanted to keep and save
Much like today

As the rain poured down on me
I was still happy
Thinking that this is how memories are made
My vision was blurred
But you were my saving grace
Through crashing winds
I felt like the stones on the shore
And you were crashing in like the waves

I was frightened by the lightening
So close on the water while I ran
My heart beat faster
But most of it was thinking of you
The only one I could ever be with
My true love
My Man


Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Best Version of Me

He came back crawling
After he broke my heart to leave

He wasn't in love for two whole weeks
So he could be the man he wanted to be

My heart was still open to being with him
And so once more we were together again

But something in me had changed
The light I had for him was growing dim
I knew he couldn't spark it again

He didn't deserve the best of me
The best was waiting for him

I was waiting for a man
Who loved me more than I loved him

Waiting for someone to hold my heart
His hands would put me back together again

The day I saw you
We passed each other in the hallway
But I just wanted to stand there
Just to look at you for awhile

Didn't know what you could mean
So much had happened
But I saw you with me

Til this day
I still can't believe
That you were the man
Who got the best version of me.

This Room is Not Mine

I live in a place
That seems just fine
I wish I could try
But this room is not mine

I'm almost homeward bound

I live in a space
On borrowed time
I'm living in a temporary situation
Nothing in this room is mine

I'm almost homeward bound

I wish I could live
On my own
Be here in the comfort of silence
Be alone with my own sounds

I'm almost homeward bound

Almost home to face
My life in a different way
My reality I cannot escape

I'm almost homeward bound

Where do I start
If not from here
I can't let failure win
I cannot let fear become my fear

Jump into it
Head first
No need to hesitate
Don't let it hurt

Home is what you make of it
Just make it work




Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Good Kind

I want him to be mean
So I have a reason to leave
But he never does
He is good to me

He treats me as if I were a queen
I don't want to be
I don't deserve his heart
He is too good to me

I'm afraid to hurt him
Afraid I might leave
Just to follow my every dream
But he stays
I don't why is he so good to me

He says he would follow
Follow me behind my dreams
But I feel guilty
That he is very good to me

It's not fair for me to have everything

But as other people have taught me
One break can hurt
And once a heart is broken
It can never return
To the way things once were

I can never hurt a man
A man that is good to me




Monday, August 5, 2013

A thousand things to know

I've read at least a thousand books
Now I have a thousand stories to know
I know how they end
I can write a story of my own

Books are my guide for learning
Through each book I lived before
With all the stories in the world
I thought I could live this life alone
Never did I imagine that my love story would unfold

The reality of my life is with yours
Even though
I'd hate to admit and hate is such a strong word
Your life merged with mine for some reason
Maybe to tell a story no one has ever heard

As much as I would like to write you off
The pages won't let me erase
All the good memories we have had
And the bad times we have embraced

I don't know how our book will end
Don't know how long it will be
But at least if I'm with you
I'll always have my sanity




Friday, August 2, 2013

The me and you

This time apart is distance
Long and far from being ordinary
I wake up every day and think that I am free
Except that I can't break from you without losing me

I put on a face here
That I'm happy and living a dream
Except those dreams would be half filled
Because I cannot exist without us, without the you and me

I love it here
But I can hate it here too
You can meet so many people
But without a connection its like a city of fools

They play their game
Pretend there is a need for you
Use you up and leave you useless
And make you feel like there is nothing you can do

If we plant seeds here
Would we ever see the roots
Or would you play the game of fools
I worry that you would change and then there would be me without you

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Bad Seed

You're away
So very far away
I close my eyes but I cannot see your face
It's shadowed in my mind
Shadowed by all the temptations this city can bring

I know you love me
But sometimes it's hard to believe
That every single person I meet
Wants what I have with you
Wants to feel what we feel
But I have my own personal demons

Demons that no matter what won't subside
They hide behind my thankful heart
They creep inside
The love I know I have found in you
But I can't shake the feeling that
I can never be me
Without my own light

You guided me through so much
And I don't want to sound ungrateful
But the demons I can't shake
Still are inside
I want you to help me with them

But deep deep down
In the core of my big and loving heart
Is just a tiny little seed
That knows it can be bad